Of course, the girl couldn’t have been a rebel, and the mother wasn’t anything but her well-wisher. Then, why do we see such disputes all the time? The other case was of a mother trying to make her daughter of 6-7 years age do some serious physical exercises.It was evident that the child was wretched and non-cooperative. Of course, we all know from our experience that children of this age love to do things in a group. It’s a known fact that human beings learn and do things better in a group. What I understand from Michael’s “Family-School” project is that teaching of raw facts and formulate doesn’t make children good learners and good human beings.
The children should be part of family lives from the very beginning. They should learn to share the responsibilities and be a part of whatever is happening in the family. For this, initially, the older members of the family should do things with the child, as per his capabilities, and as he grows up and becomes more confident in certain chores or tasks, he should be asked to do those on his own. He should be a part of all the planning the family does and not just a bystander. The parents should also not behave like slaves for their children, and ought not to do things on behalf of their children. The primary thing is that each child is a human being and should be treated like one.
The “Family-School” project urges that the learning and bringing up processes of children should take place in an integrated way with the active participation of all the family members. We have to create an atmosphere where all the family members work and coexist as one entity, where each supports and worries about others. If the pedagogical cooperation between different generations is not the uniting force in our society for the development of the economy and social organisation, then one can say that the Family as an entity of the society has failed in doing its function.
Not only schooling, but all human interactions should be conducted in the way of perfect pedagogical symbiosis. For example, a doctor should not just give specific recommendations to the patients alone but should try to interact with the family as well, and share the guidelines of curing the patient with each of the members. Then working and cooperating as an integrated unit, the family with the doctor, the treatment prescribed by the doctor will be easy to follow and would bear better results.
When we leave a member of the family in the care of some organisation and feel that our duty is now just to sustain that member financially only; and the respective organisation should do the rest, that is when the seeds of all the problems get sown.
This process of detachment is perilous for any society, and as a whole for the whole humanity. We have to aim at building an inclusive world, a world where everyone is responsible for his deeds, and each has responsibilities and duties towards others and not a world where each tries to live for oneself. Such an inclusive world is possible only when we will function within the family like one pedagogic entity and all families together as an integrated society. The first step we have to take in this direction is to change the way children are taught or brought up.
Now coming back to Sonya, she is a wonderful child and a quick learner. There are times when she comes all full of enthusiasm and is ready to do any task. But there are times when she is not prepared to do or learn anything. When our interaction had just begun, I attributed this to her being a moody girl. But, now I have realised that her attitude towards her work on a particular day is the reflection of how her day has passed. If someone mistreats or scolds or scorns upon her, it immediately shows on her face and overall behaviour. She is a child of 10 years old. She needs to be explained, taught, and demonstrated things with patience and love. All of us feel a bit down when we are unable to do something.
Children feel this stigma more than the adults. We try to do different activities like skipping the rope, roasting nuts, singing songs and painting pictures (especially of her favourite animals), whenever Sonya comes in a foul mood and is not ready to do anything with English. You will not believe that a little bit of change in activity, a bit of personal attention to her, showing some appreciation towards her work act like wonder, and soon the clouds of despair and rebellion start clearing off from her attitude. I then see a total change in her behaviour, and then she does even more than what we had intended to do.
My personal experience with one child only has taught me many lessons. All children are capable, but they need to be handled with love and care. By punishing a child for any of his misdoings, we become an equal misdoer in his eyes. But if we show care and compassion towards his errors and help in correcting those, that’s when we earn his respect and make a first step towards building a healthy society.
(This article is inspired by the theory of Family-School by Mr Michael Shirman)
Pragati Tipnis is the cultural secretary of Hindustani Samaj, the oldest Indian organization in Russia. Email: pragatitipnis@gmail.com